Not Just Music Podcast Episode 67 ft Duan & Q "Male Insight"

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Yo Q what up?

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Man I'm keeping it real what up Duan?

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Welcome

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to not

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just music

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where we keep it real

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and honest

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always

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all right what's going on everybody

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what do I bring up from not just music podcast

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I'm going to book Klaycee Murdoch

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Klaycee Murdoch in the building

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yes, Nancy hate that

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how's everything man? everything good

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we here everything good man

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blessings blessings man

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coming down to

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the end of the year man

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It's been a great year.

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It has.

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A lot of things have been achieved.

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A lot of goals, a lot of trials, a lot of ups and downs.

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But we here, we made it, man.

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A lot of grace from God.

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So we are in a new season of, as I said,

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this is the holiday season, last episode.

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OK?

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Yeah.

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I'm going to introduce something, and I'm going to...

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I've been thinking about it for a long time.

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OK, talk soon.

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What do you feel about males, basically

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what we call male bonding?

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How effective do you feel male bonding is in this year of 2023,

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moving forward, not backwards?

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How important do you feel males, that we're not

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talking about on no funny, nothing...

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You talking about brotherhood.

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Brotherhood, period.

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You don't have nothing to do with being gay.

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You don't have nothing to do with being anything.

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It's not pointing out anything.

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I get where you're coming from.

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It's just brothers coming together

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on a level of understanding, meeting up, and getting

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to express things and talk about things.

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I'm going to hit them deep with this one.

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I feel like it's growing.

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And the reason why I feel like it's growing is because these

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women, these women, you see it, man.

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I mean, the sexy reds in the world,

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like the behavior of some of these city girls.

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Men are having to get on their game now.

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They can't run to the woman to talk now.

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They got to run to the men, their brothers.

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Bro, you see that?

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I was just, I seen something online.

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They were talking about how this female new rap is very toxic,

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you know what I'm saying, to the females.

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And then somebody had posted, nah, gangster rap

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was more toxic than this.

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And I had to think about it.

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I said, nah, we ain't really never seen nothing like this

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before, these ladies and what they pushing and the genders.

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The gangster rap, people that were listening to it

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wasn't really, some of them weren't gangsta.

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They was just listening to it.

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These women are actually living what these women are saying

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in these songs, you know what I'm saying,

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and living by their code.

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So it's pushing the men away, and they

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having to go to the men now, their brothers now, and talk.

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You know what I'm saying?

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So I'm sorry, I gave you the wrong answer.

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No, no, no, no, no.

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So that's a good thing, right?

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So do you feel that it will be a thing of, let me get,

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let's get an example, like you just said, right?

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So with females and things of that nature, right?

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Yeah.

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I don't think it's per se to, you're not

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speaking in the case of saying even to just the bastard

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females, right?

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No, I'm not saying that.

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Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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And I'm going to give you an example.

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But can I say something real quick?

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Because I feel like men were too, what happened was men

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became too reliable on the female.

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They became too reliable on the woman

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to where now that the woman is acting this way,

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and I don't need an N.I., you know what I'm saying?

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I get my own money.

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Now it's like the man can't rely on her.

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So who does he go to now?

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The rely to, the talk to.

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So now he going back to his brothers,

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going back to the men, you know what I'm saying?

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Because now men are feeling the pressure.

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What we were doing, some of them,

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I'm not going to say all men, but what most of all men,

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when we was dogging these women out,

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you know what I'm saying?

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We was OK.

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But now women doing the same thing to us now.

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So it's like we don't know how to take it majority of the time.

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So we ain't going to sit there and just take it.

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Like majority women will, you know what I'm saying?

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Put up with it.

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So I feel like that's why they're talking.

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They're more closer to men now, and they talk to men now

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because they have no choice.

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Yeah, but yeah.

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I think a lot of these men need guidance.

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One in one, yes, relationships.

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Since we can't always meet with men,

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what's something that you would give?

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And I'm trying to be very detailed here.

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What would you give a struggling man in a position of,

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like, it's got to be a man.

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Let's say a young boy out here right now, right?

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He's growing up in a position where he's a single mom,

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right?

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Dad ain't there.

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This is something you can relate to.

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So what's the likes of opportunity

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that they'll be successful?

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What would you tell them?

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What's the success story that you

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would give them to make it a thing of they're

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going to make it, they will be prosperous?

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What would you tell them?

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The success story is there's going

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to be some trials along the way.

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You got to just be ready for them.

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You got to take the bumps in the road,

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and you got to learn how to get up and adjust to it.

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So I want to prepare you for that.

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There's going to be times where you feel uncomfortable.

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There's going to be times you feel undefeated.

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But that ain't doing nothing but building character

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and building power and strength within you.

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So don't be scared to go through those trials and tribulations.

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Don't be scared to mess up.

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Don't be scared to fall on your face.

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Get back up, learn from it.

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And I'm telling you all this, and I put it in my movie.

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You will see.

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I learned from a lot of stuff.

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So to get to the top, you're going to have to start.

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Sometimes you might have to get knocked down to the bottom.

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Yes, sir.

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No, no, no, no.

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Ain't nothing worth having going to come easy without trial.

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You know what I'm saying?

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I haven't seen nothing that came easy and was worth having.

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That didn't come with trials and tribulations.

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So man, you're going to have to be able to go through the fire

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and deal with something.

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And if you don't have to go through it, don't.

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I'm not saying go out here and make dumb decisions

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and dumb choices.

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But what I'm saying is live your life,

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but know your tensions are good.

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You might slip up here and there.

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But the thing of it is learning from it and getting back up.

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So that's my ingredients for success.

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You know what I'm saying?

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Learn from everything and bounce back.

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And remember, this was going to let's get a little,

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let me get you, let's ask you a question.

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OK, with this holiday season coming,

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what's the advantages of not, what's the advantage,

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excuse me, what's the disadvantage of not having

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both parents during this time of the year?

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I mean, when I was younger, my situation,

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I don't feel like I really felt the effect,

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because I had loving grandparents for one.

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I had a loving mom, a caring mom.

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And I didn't need for nothing.

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So I wasn't worried about a father,

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because I had the joy, I had the haircut all the time.

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I had.

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So I didn't have time to sit there and be like, well,

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my dad ain't here.

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I didn't deal with that.

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It wasn't until I got older I felt the effect.

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When I was a child, I was good.

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I didn't feel it.

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But once you get older, and I think

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that's when it really hits me, when they get older.

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When you're a child, you just, you're seeing these gifts,

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you're seeing something under the Christmas tree

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every Christmas, so you're not complaining.

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But it's when you get older, and you start realizing,

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like, dang, me not having a father, I lack in this.

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I'm insecure in this way.

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This affected me this way.

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That's when it really hits you.

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But yeah, I think for men, I think if you're young,

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it really won't affect you.

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If you're older, a little bit older,

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and understand it may affect you.

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But just always try to look at it,

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and always remember you're not the reason why.

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You're not the wrong and the wrong.

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You're not the reason your dad left.

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So don't beat yourself up.

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And just try to look at the bright side.

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And try to be a better man than your father is.

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A better father when you become one, than your father was.

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And learn to forgive.

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You know what I'm saying?

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And realize men, parents are not perfect.

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I know it's hard to say.

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I'm not making excuses for deadbeats.

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But we're human.

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Everybody has feelings.

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I have feelings.

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The one has feelings.

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We're not perfect.

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There's plenty of times I'm sure we want to throw in the towel.

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We human.

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You know what I'm saying?

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But the thing of it is we always get

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steered back in the right direction.

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So try to be relatable.

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Try to understand.

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Understanding is important.

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You know what I'm saying?

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So one thing I want to say.

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And this goes to, I want to hear what you guys say, bro.

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Those who do have two parents and very much have

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the parents active in their lives,

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know that this is one thing I've always experienced,

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because I've always had my parents.

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But this is one thing I want those of you that do have

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your parents to realize.

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There is a point where they cannot be here forever.

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That's one thing I see as a struggle

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for those kids that grow up in those households where

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both parents are available.

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They don't ever have to move for anything.

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But if their parents are gone, that

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creates the struggle right there.

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I like how you showing both effects.

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Because I've seen people have, and this is a very true story,

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I've seen people who've had both parents

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their whole entire life.

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And then when mama died, bro, or even the other way around,

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when daddy died, it derailed them.

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Took them out of commission for being realistic to being

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a human, because you're human.

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You're only allowed to be here a certain amount of time.

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But for those that don't have both parents in their lives,

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I think they adapt to it a lot quicker,

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because they're already used to that one parent not being there,

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not being available to them.

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So for what I feel about it is, hope and praying, faith,

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and being patient with God and things of that nature

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really play a big role in being a human being,

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whether if you have or if you don't have.

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00:12:57,680 --> 00:12:59,600
Just as you hear Q speak on things

264
00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:04,040
that were from a mindset of basically they're almost lined

265
00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:06,680
up, it's just there's different ways of looking at it.

266
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:08,520
You're going to have hard points in your life.

267
00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:09,880
You're going to have hard times in your life,

268
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:11,680
whether you have both parents or you have one parents

269
00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:13,360
or you don't have parents at all.

270
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,680
You will experience something in your life.

271
00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:17,320
You're going to experience hard times.

272
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:18,720
Just because you have both parents

273
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:20,320
don't mean you promised anything.

274
00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:21,280
Exactly.

275
00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:23,120
Just because you have one parent don't mean

276
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:24,280
you promised anything.

277
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:26,200
Just because you don't have parents at all

278
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:27,360
doesn't mean you promised anything.

279
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:29,000
Especially in today's world, man.

280
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:32,800
The way the economy is and the way the world is,

281
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:34,640
how crazy it is.

282
00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:36,800
Bro, ain't nobody spared, man.

283
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:38,160
Ain't nothing spared.

284
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:38,960
You see it?

285
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:39,920
You see it?

286
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,440
Man, look, man.

287
00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:43,360
No, man.

288
00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:46,160
And this is all fair.

289
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:49,440
This is all fairness to those that are listening.

290
00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:53,000
Never take for granted your peace of mind.

291
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,720
Never take for granted your mindset.

292
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:59,440
Because you can go a long way with having the right mindset.

293
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:03,360
If you got the jacked up mindset and it's not growing,

294
00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:06,560
you're probably not going to get too far.

295
00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:07,400
Period.

296
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:09,080
But if you got a, if your parent,

297
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:10,240
look, think about it like this.

298
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:11,920
Just because you got both your parents,

299
00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:13,360
oh, I'm supposed to have everything.

300
00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:16,120
I got it, I ain't no, what, hey,

301
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:17,520
I've known people who have both parents

302
00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:21,640
and both parents, just because the child didn't have a drive,

303
00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:22,880
they let the child, I mean,

304
00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:24,480
they didn't give the child everything they wanted

305
00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:27,360
because they felt like they weren't driven.

306
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:29,520
Because they felt like they was supposed to be given.

307
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,320
Not driven, given.

308
00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:32,760
Which one?

309
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:35,680
I want to be given in the case of because I'm driven.

310
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:38,920
I don't want to be given just because of, I don't know.

311
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,160
I want my work.

312
00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:43,200
That's what I want to be rewarded for, my work.

313
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,040
What's that saying?

314
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:46,800
You want, don't just give me the fish,

315
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:47,840
show me how to fish.

316
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:49,400
You know what I'm saying?

317
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:54,240
And another thing, and single parents tend to be more

318
00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:57,480
tough on their kids because they want them to be able,

319
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,760
going back to what you saying, they want them to be able

320
00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:02,800
to take care of themselves when they're not here.

321
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:05,640
Because they know the other parent is not involved.

322
00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:08,400
So if I leave, I'm the main parent.

323
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,920
He got, I want him to be able to be able to raise himself.

324
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:16,880
So that's how a single parent mindset is majority of the time.

325
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:20,000
So when you got two parents, it might not be as hard

326
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:23,160
like that because it's like, okay, he has his father.

327
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:24,000
Know what I'm saying?

328
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,760
So I'm not going to be as too hard on him.

329
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,880
He has brothers, he has sisters.

330
00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:34,880
But some, like my case, single child, mom was only there.

331
00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:36,200
Know what I'm saying?

332
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:37,480
Grandparents are old.

333
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:41,080
So my mom looking at it like, yeah, if I leave,

334
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:43,080
he got to be able to take care of himself.

335
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:48,040
And this is a thing too, where a lot of people fall

336
00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:53,040
into slumps about, look, if it's a thing of you got

337
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:56,840
your grandparents, be thankful for your grandparents.

338
00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:57,880
Absolutely.

339
00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:01,160
If it's auntie and uncle, be grateful for them.

340
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,840
Like stop being so bitter because the case of mom

341
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:05,320
and daddy ain't there.

342
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,640
Don't let that control your life.

343
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:11,280
That will not be who you are or change your character

344
00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:14,200
who you are unless you allow it to.

345
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:16,760
You allow it to, yeah, it's going to beat you up.

346
00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:17,840
It's going to slap you.

347
00:16:17,840 --> 00:16:19,560
It's going to make you feel bad.

348
00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:21,680
You're going to be depressed.

349
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:23,480
You're going to be angry.

350
00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:25,440
You're going to be pissed off at people.

351
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:27,040
You're going to be crying.

352
00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:29,760
You're going to be all those emotional feelings.

353
00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:32,120
You're going to be there if you allow that to beat you up.

354
00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:35,200
That's why I've been trying to, even though it's going

355
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:41,840
to hurt days after you're going to experience hurt,

356
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:42,800
it's going to come.

357
00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:46,280
It's just like you said, be ready.

358
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:49,240
Prep your mind so it doesn't tear you down,

359
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:52,400
allow it to hit you and get refocused.

360
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:53,800
Because a lot of us.

361
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,040
It's going to hurt though.

362
00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:55,880
It's going to hurt.

363
00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:57,480
I'm not saying don't have emotions.

364
00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:58,320
It's going to hurt.

365
00:16:58,320 --> 00:16:59,160
It's going to hurt.

366
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:02,600
But I'm saying I want you to be able to bounce back.

367
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:03,480
Yeah, bounce back.

368
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:06,520
Because some people can't bounce back, bro.

369
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:11,360
And some of them end up going into depression and drugs,

370
00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:13,720
killing themselves.

371
00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:15,320
And that's the last thing we want to do.

372
00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:17,320
We want to uplift.

373
00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,240
So we trying to have people bounce back.

374
00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:22,080
I know it's going to be hard, but fight that thing.

375
00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:22,840
Pray about it.

376
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:23,880
Keep God first.

377
00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:26,040
Yeah.

378
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:31,000
Another topic that here, man.

379
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:38,080
I've recognized something when it comes to growth

380
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:39,160
and development.

381
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:47,400
Your growth really, really, really depends on.

382
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:51,720
And this is due to knowing.

383
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:55,560
Because of years of being a human being myself,

384
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:58,000
what you've experienced usually is always

385
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:02,680
going to be what the outcome is of who you are, right?

386
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:04,880
So this is what I hate, though.

387
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:06,160
This is what I hate.

388
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:11,880
To hear people say that, you make it out of a situation.

389
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:13,560
But people still want to treat you like you

390
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,880
were that situation you were.

391
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,880
I like that song.

392
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:18,400
Right?

393
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:19,080
Yeah.

394
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:22,000
I know you've experienced that a lot just because I know you.

395
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,560
I know your story now.

396
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:28,480
So for the fact of, right, what's one of the biggest

397
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:34,360
things you feel why people can't forgive?

398
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:35,120
What do you feel?

399
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,040
Do you think it's because they've

400
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:42,480
experienced the most hurt?

401
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,080
Because I'm going to say it like this.

402
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:45,520
No, but this is the thing, though.

403
00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:51,760
Most majority people that judge you don't even know you,

404
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:57,080
haven't even went through what it was you went through

405
00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:58,480
or whatnot.

406
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:00,800
And this is the thing.

407
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:05,760
The person that you get into it with or you had an issue with,

408
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:08,200
y'all might have forgave each other behind closed doors.

409
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:09,280
Y'all probably cool.

410
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:10,320
You know what I'm saying?

411
00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:12,800
But the world is still mad at you.

412
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:18,240
If the person, two people you had a problem with,

413
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:19,240
you know what I'm saying?

414
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:22,360
Y'all can fix it, why is the world mad at you

415
00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:24,080
and still holding this against you?

416
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:27,640
Like Rihanna forgave Chris Brown, for example.

417
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:30,840
Everybody still bring that up about Chris Brown.

418
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,640
Rihanna done moved on.

419
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:35,920
Why are y'all still holding this on this man's head, man?

420
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:38,160
Riri got a new boo and everything.

421
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,440
And Chris did.

422
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:43,160
She went on record and said they best friends.

423
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:44,760
So why is the world still holding?

424
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:48,400
So that's one thing I don't understand, bro.

425
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,920
Everybody else that's not even in the business

426
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:55,920
can be so in tune and so have an opinion about something

427
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,920
that don't even concern them like that.

428
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:02,240
They didn't go through personally.

429
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:03,520
It tripped me up, man.

430
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:06,120
It tripped me up, man.

431
00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:11,120
How many people are actually, who do we really feel?

432
00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:16,520
And this is, if you hate somebody so bad, right?

433
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:21,120
And this is, like you said, it's never the person

434
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:22,800
that you hurt.

435
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:27,200
It's always the person that's either their friend

436
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:28,360
or somebody that knows them.

437
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:29,200
Family member.

438
00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:32,880
Somebody around them, right?

439
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:37,880
So in the case of, do you feel that this is,

440
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:43,360
and this is moving beyond again,

441
00:20:43,360 --> 00:20:45,880
moving forward, not backwards, right?

442
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:50,880
Do you feel that us as a podcast

443
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:54,920
can talk about things like that?

444
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:58,400
We're gonna receive backlash for it

445
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:02,080
because that's what people wanna do.

446
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:03,240
But I'm used to it, though.

447
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,280
My own personal life, that's what I face anyway.

448
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:09,160
So do you think that, at least over the next,

449
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:11,200
let's say five years, right?

450
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:16,200
Do you think that people will ever, ever get to a point,

451
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:17,640
and I'm talking about for us.

452
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:21,680
Do you ever feel that the world will ever get to a point

453
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:26,000
where at least 15% of those people that hate so much

454
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:31,000
will understand due to either being age,

455
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:35,560
they grow out of it, or do you feel a situation,

456
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:39,920
a situation like a person will change their outlook?

457
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:44,760
Bro, see that?

458
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:45,600
Yeah.

459
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:49,560
I feel like we two black men,

460
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:52,240
I hate to keep making this story, saying this,

461
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:53,760
but we two black men,

462
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:57,640
we don't really get acknowledged

463
00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:59,600
for nothing positive in the world.

464
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:01,240
Like, that's history.

465
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,080
Anytime we do something good, I say something good,

466
00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:07,160
that's the least thing they're gonna put out.

467
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,680
They're always gonna put out the negative.

468
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:12,720
They'll dig, you might be a perfect person,

469
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:14,960
like you might, I'm not gonna say perfect,

470
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:16,440
but you close to it.

471
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:19,960
You might be this good family, good great family man,

472
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:23,600
you know what I'm saying, respectful and everything.

473
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:26,160
They will go back to your past

474
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:29,880
to just try to find the little slightest bad thing,

475
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:32,600
and I never see nobody else go through this

476
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,240
except the black men.

477
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:38,040
Like, why can't we leave this earth with a clean image?

478
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:40,800
It's like, they don't want us to have a clean image,

479
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:43,080
and I'm just gonna be real with the people.

480
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:46,040
Like, all black men have to leave

481
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:48,520
with some kind of tarnish on their name

482
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:49,360
or something like that.

483
00:22:49,360 --> 00:22:51,440
Why we can't be like the white men,

484
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:54,440
you know what I'm saying, and have a lot of good things

485
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,000
said about us when we leave.

486
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,560
Why y'all wanna bring up the negative about us?

487
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:01,960
Why not bring up the good fathers, the hard workers,

488
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:03,920
we get up and do what we gotta do,

489
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:05,560
out here doing for the community?

490
00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:07,680
Why they don't talk about this?

491
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:10,840
So, the answer to your question, I don't see it happening.

492
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,320
I don't see it happening, because we're two black men,

493
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:15,760
and we don't get acknowledged,

494
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:19,000
and we don't get respected like that anyway.

495
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:20,840
They're gonna always look at the bad,

496
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:23,140
I think, in any situation.

497
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:26,560
Like, when it's supposed to be celebrated,

498
00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:29,000
they're gonna rain on the parade, I feel.

499
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:30,440
That's why I don't get my hopes up.

500
00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:32,960
It's hard to, I just pray about it,

501
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,800
and hope the world receive it for how they receive it.

502
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:36,640
You know what I'm saying?

503
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:40,960
Yeah, this is one thing I'm thinking about now, bro.

504
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:46,320
The more people hate, they waste time.

505
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:53,200
Waste a lot of time, due to the energy that you put in.

506
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,280
Let's just say this, even if they don't wanna talk to you

507
00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:59,040
for the rest of their life, right?

508
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:00,120
A person all they gotta do is say,

509
00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:02,560
look, I don't like what you did,

510
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:05,800
but I can never forget it.

511
00:24:06,780 --> 00:24:08,740
I'd rather somebody say that,

512
00:24:08,740 --> 00:24:11,320
than to sit up there and just throw hate

513
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:12,820
for the rest of they day at me.

514
00:24:12,820 --> 00:24:13,660
I know right?

515
00:24:15,300 --> 00:24:16,820
Like, what's wrong with communication, bro?

516
00:24:16,820 --> 00:24:18,340
I'd rather you just say you don't like me.

517
00:24:18,340 --> 00:24:19,540
I'd rather you say you hate me.

518
00:24:19,540 --> 00:24:22,740
But why you think people don't have the courage to say that,

519
00:24:22,740 --> 00:24:24,780
and they just rather sit here and sneak this,

520
00:24:24,780 --> 00:24:26,140
and play games on the line?

521
00:24:26,140 --> 00:24:27,260
And you know what I think it is?

522
00:24:27,260 --> 00:24:28,800
I think it's a thing of,

523
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:32,180
one, they wanna hold something against you.

524
00:24:32,180 --> 00:24:34,460
That's the only way they feel like they can get to you.

525
00:24:34,460 --> 00:24:35,300
Like they can eat your conscience?

526
00:24:35,300 --> 00:24:36,140
Yeah.

527
00:24:36,140 --> 00:24:36,980
Just eat at you, just to have something.

528
00:24:36,980 --> 00:24:38,980
Cause a real winner's gonna eat at their conscience,

529
00:24:38,980 --> 00:24:39,820
like me.

530
00:24:39,820 --> 00:24:42,860
Yeah, my thing is this, why not I just say it?

531
00:24:42,860 --> 00:24:43,900
Just say it.

532
00:24:43,900 --> 00:24:45,080
I like honesty.

533
00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:47,220
Yeah, why not I just say it and get it out of the way,

534
00:24:47,220 --> 00:24:48,660
so we don't have to get here and go,

535
00:24:48,660 --> 00:24:51,140
we don't have to go back and forth over it.

536
00:24:51,140 --> 00:24:53,420
We can already have this out of the way.

537
00:24:53,420 --> 00:24:55,700
Look, I hate you, you hate me.

538
00:24:55,700 --> 00:24:56,540
Boom.

539
00:24:57,820 --> 00:24:58,660
But check this out though.

540
00:24:58,660 --> 00:24:59,500
See how fast that was.

541
00:24:59,500 --> 00:25:00,340
But check this out though,

542
00:25:00,340 --> 00:25:02,740
this is a repeated cycle though, because you so,

543
00:25:02,740 --> 00:25:05,940
when you hate something so bad or somebody,

544
00:25:05,940 --> 00:25:06,940
how can you move forward?

545
00:25:06,940 --> 00:25:08,220
We talking about,

546
00:25:08,220 --> 00:25:10,660
we talking about years from now.

547
00:25:10,660 --> 00:25:13,140
How can you live your future

548
00:25:13,140 --> 00:25:16,440
if you so stuck on the past or this person?

549
00:25:17,420 --> 00:25:19,860
This person has so much control,

550
00:25:19,860 --> 00:25:22,680
so now you're bringing this emotion,

551
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:25,980
this hate into your new relationship,

552
00:25:25,980 --> 00:25:27,620
and then it's gonna be a repeated cycle.

553
00:25:27,620 --> 00:25:30,580
Now you done did the same thing to this dude.

554
00:25:30,580 --> 00:25:33,420
You looking at him like he the old dude.

555
00:25:33,420 --> 00:25:35,300
Now you keep going from dude to dude,

556
00:25:35,300 --> 00:25:36,780
and that's all I see out here now,

557
00:25:36,780 --> 00:25:40,060
it's a repeated cycle of chaos, bro.

558
00:25:40,060 --> 00:25:41,260
Because people mad.

559
00:25:41,260 --> 00:25:43,020
Just because people mad, bro.

560
00:25:43,020 --> 00:25:45,740
They don't have no reason for they're mad.

561
00:25:45,740 --> 00:25:47,380
They just wanna be, again,

562
00:25:47,380 --> 00:25:50,020
that energy is easier to put out.

563
00:25:50,020 --> 00:25:51,160
Like somebody said,

564
00:25:53,660 --> 00:25:56,440
social media has made men and women

565
00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:58,180
seem as if they don't need each other,

566
00:25:58,180 --> 00:25:59,200
and they really do.

567
00:26:00,140 --> 00:26:00,980
They do.

568
00:26:00,980 --> 00:26:01,800
They do.

569
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:03,660
I'ma be honest, I'ma be honest,

570
00:26:03,660 --> 00:26:05,860
because the case of,

571
00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:13,100
the best support system comes from a woman to a man.

572
00:26:14,700 --> 00:26:16,660
The best support system for a woman

573
00:26:16,660 --> 00:26:18,660
comes from a man to a woman.

574
00:26:18,660 --> 00:26:19,500
Yeah.

575
00:26:19,500 --> 00:26:20,820
I don't wanna argue.

576
00:26:22,540 --> 00:26:24,220
I don't wanna argue.

577
00:26:24,220 --> 00:26:28,020
I'm not gonna sit up here and tear you along with that.

578
00:26:28,020 --> 00:26:29,860
It's the case, it's the truth.

579
00:26:29,860 --> 00:26:32,260
Let's stop this nonsense.

580
00:26:32,260 --> 00:26:36,780
Oh, men, most like, y'all just, all y'all lie.

581
00:26:36,780 --> 00:26:37,860
No.

582
00:26:37,860 --> 00:26:39,820
Every man don't lie.

583
00:26:39,820 --> 00:26:43,900
Your best friend lying right now to you,

584
00:26:43,900 --> 00:26:45,500
and she sleeping with your man,

585
00:26:45,500 --> 00:26:48,100
and you talking about all men lie.

586
00:26:48,100 --> 00:26:50,100
That's not saying that's a true story,

587
00:26:50,100 --> 00:26:52,660
but I gave you a scenario of what could be going on,

588
00:26:52,660 --> 00:26:54,780
but again, all men lie.

589
00:26:54,780 --> 00:26:55,940
You know what I do, man?

590
00:26:55,940 --> 00:26:57,780
Now, I just, I play dumb.

591
00:26:57,780 --> 00:26:59,420
I play dumb with the crowd.

592
00:27:00,580 --> 00:27:04,420
I posted just today with Phelmon,

593
00:27:04,420 --> 00:27:06,740
I posted some pictures of Sexy Red earlier,

594
00:27:06,740 --> 00:27:09,820
because I know that's what the world loves.

595
00:27:09,820 --> 00:27:12,900
I heard somebody say she's the next Michael Jackson.

596
00:27:12,900 --> 00:27:16,540
So I was like, you know, I play dumb.

597
00:27:16,540 --> 00:27:18,900
I'm like, this is what y'all really pushing.

598
00:27:18,900 --> 00:27:20,900
This is the agenda y'all pushing.

599
00:27:20,900 --> 00:27:22,660
Because it ain't, but it ain't for me to judge,

600
00:27:22,660 --> 00:27:26,300
but I look at here, this is what we embrace now.

601
00:27:26,300 --> 00:27:29,660
We rather embrace single homes, single parents,

602
00:27:30,940 --> 00:27:32,380
all the stuff she represent.

603
00:27:32,380 --> 00:27:34,060
Like, I mean, go back and look at her,

604
00:27:34,060 --> 00:27:36,700
like, you know, non-safe sex,

605
00:27:36,700 --> 00:27:38,300
she don't believe in condoms,

606
00:27:38,300 --> 00:27:40,780
and like, is that the message we wanna push

607
00:27:40,780 --> 00:27:42,780
to the generation?

608
00:27:42,780 --> 00:27:45,700
Like, we, like, somebody like me and you,

609
00:27:45,700 --> 00:27:47,700
we listen to what these people say.

610
00:27:47,700 --> 00:27:49,660
The words that come out your mouth.

611
00:27:49,660 --> 00:27:51,940
We gonna hold you accountable for it.

612
00:27:51,940 --> 00:27:54,620
You talking about you the queen of raw dog?

613
00:27:55,540 --> 00:27:56,900
Like, what example is that?

614
00:27:56,900 --> 00:27:58,980
I don't want my daughter to hear nothing like that.

615
00:27:58,980 --> 00:27:59,820
You know what I'm saying?

616
00:27:59,820 --> 00:28:00,900
I be like that.

617
00:28:02,100 --> 00:28:03,940
If you want your daughter to be like that,

618
00:28:03,940 --> 00:28:04,940
if you're watching this,

619
00:28:04,940 --> 00:28:07,060
are you cool with your daughter being like that?

620
00:28:07,060 --> 00:28:08,580
What, getting on camera,

621
00:28:08,580 --> 00:28:10,780
because y'all be at the concerts,

622
00:28:10,780 --> 00:28:14,060
ski, and all that, like, the parents.

623
00:28:14,060 --> 00:28:15,860
Are y'all cool with that?

624
00:28:15,860 --> 00:28:18,060
Or is it just, nah, it's just entertainment.

625
00:28:18,060 --> 00:28:19,980
It's just, it's whatever.

626
00:28:19,980 --> 00:28:21,180
Ski, yeah.

627
00:28:21,180 --> 00:28:22,740
So is it serious?

628
00:28:22,740 --> 00:28:24,900
Like, I mean, so we,

629
00:28:24,900 --> 00:28:27,340
hold everybody accountable how you hold,

630
00:28:27,340 --> 00:28:29,860
like we say, y'all hold black men,

631
00:28:29,860 --> 00:28:31,860
y'all hold me accountable for everything.

632
00:28:31,860 --> 00:28:33,180
Even if it was years ago,

633
00:28:33,180 --> 00:28:36,020
y'all hold Chris Brown accountable for what he done.

634
00:28:36,020 --> 00:28:36,840
You know what I'm saying?

635
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:37,680
All these black men.

636
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:39,540
So, hold everybody accountable, man.

637
00:28:39,540 --> 00:28:40,700
Let's present this.

638
00:28:40,700 --> 00:28:42,620
I wanna present y'all with something, man.

639
00:28:42,620 --> 00:28:43,820
Y'all tell me this.

640
00:28:43,820 --> 00:28:48,820
How crazy would we be as a world

641
00:28:50,500 --> 00:28:54,100
to finally take a chance at forgiving?

642
00:28:54,100 --> 00:28:57,180
Like, literal forgiveness.

643
00:28:57,180 --> 00:28:58,460
Like, what is the actual,

644
00:28:58,460 --> 00:29:02,140
let me give y'all what forgiveness means.

645
00:29:02,140 --> 00:29:04,420
So I ain't sitting up here just,

646
00:29:04,420 --> 00:29:05,460
okay, forgiveness.

647
00:29:05,460 --> 00:29:09,900
The act, no, the action or process

648
00:29:09,900 --> 00:29:13,380
of forgiving or being forgiven.

649
00:29:13,380 --> 00:29:15,660
Let's see if they got any more of any add-ons

650
00:29:15,660 --> 00:29:17,420
to go along with that.

651
00:29:17,420 --> 00:29:18,340
Okay, here we go.

652
00:29:18,340 --> 00:29:20,740
She is quick to ask for forgiveness

653
00:29:20,740 --> 00:29:23,500
when she has overstepped the line.

654
00:29:23,500 --> 00:29:24,460
That's the definition.

655
00:29:24,460 --> 00:29:25,740
I mean, that's the-

656
00:29:25,740 --> 00:29:27,260
Read that again.

657
00:29:27,260 --> 00:29:29,220
She is quick to self-forgiveness

658
00:29:29,220 --> 00:29:30,060
when she has overstepped the line.

659
00:29:30,060 --> 00:29:33,580
She is quick to ask forgiveness

660
00:29:33,580 --> 00:29:36,740
when she has overstepped the line.

661
00:29:36,740 --> 00:29:41,020
The action or process of forgiving or being forgiven

662
00:29:41,020 --> 00:29:42,980
is the definition of forgiveness.

663
00:29:42,980 --> 00:29:47,460
So, with that said, in the case of,

664
00:29:47,460 --> 00:29:52,460
and it ain't even just for just men, women, period.

665
00:29:52,620 --> 00:29:53,540
Period.

666
00:29:53,540 --> 00:29:54,580
I mean, it could be something

667
00:29:54,580 --> 00:29:56,580
a kid needs to forgive their parent.

668
00:29:56,580 --> 00:29:59,340
It could be a parent needs to forgive their child.

669
00:29:59,340 --> 00:30:02,940
It could be a preacher needs to forgive his congregation.

670
00:30:02,940 --> 00:30:04,540
The congregation needs to forgive a preacher.

671
00:30:04,540 --> 00:30:06,220
Whatever it may be, it could be anything.

672
00:30:06,220 --> 00:30:08,140
A person I don't even know you need to forgive.

673
00:30:08,140 --> 00:30:08,980
Yeah.

674
00:30:08,980 --> 00:30:09,820
Or a person they mad at.

675
00:30:09,820 --> 00:30:10,660
Whatever is in your head.

676
00:30:10,660 --> 00:30:13,420
Give up it, he's what you mad at for no reason.

677
00:30:13,420 --> 00:30:14,700
Just forget it, man.

678
00:30:14,700 --> 00:30:17,100
Y'all gotta start walking around with that hate, man.

679
00:30:17,100 --> 00:30:18,380
That hate in your heart.

680
00:30:18,380 --> 00:30:22,340
Y'all wasting so much time.

681
00:30:22,340 --> 00:30:24,500
Stop wasting time.

682
00:30:24,500 --> 00:30:26,300
Go be about your business.

683
00:30:26,300 --> 00:30:27,220
It's time, y'all.

684
00:30:27,220 --> 00:30:28,500
Stop being so mad.

685
00:30:28,500 --> 00:30:29,660
Forgive people.

686
00:30:29,660 --> 00:30:30,500
I'm learning.

687
00:30:30,500 --> 00:30:31,980
I had to learn to forgive people.

688
00:30:31,980 --> 00:30:34,020
I just turned 40 like a couple months ago,

689
00:30:34,020 --> 00:30:36,740
and now I'm looking at things with people.

690
00:30:36,740 --> 00:30:37,740
I see I've had,

691
00:30:37,740 --> 00:30:40,780
it's some stuff I've been carrying around about some folk, man,

692
00:30:40,780 --> 00:30:41,860
for too long.

693
00:30:41,860 --> 00:30:46,860
And I'm noticing at how quick my forgiveness situation is now.

694
00:30:49,940 --> 00:30:51,860
I can forgive you and still be,

695
00:30:51,860 --> 00:30:54,700
it's not saying I'm in a bad place with you.

696
00:30:54,700 --> 00:30:57,980
I can still be in a position where I didn't like what you did,

697
00:30:57,980 --> 00:30:59,620
but I still can forgive you for it.

698
00:30:59,620 --> 00:31:01,060
This is the crazy thing, though.

699
00:31:01,060 --> 00:31:03,740
I can put it on Facebook right now.

700
00:31:03,740 --> 00:31:05,500
So all my people that dislike me,

701
00:31:05,500 --> 00:31:08,100
why do you dislike me?

702
00:31:08,100 --> 00:31:10,340
And I won't get no responses.

703
00:31:10,340 --> 00:31:11,580
But you dislike me, though.

704
00:31:11,580 --> 00:31:12,420
You hate me.

705
00:31:13,980 --> 00:31:14,820
It makes no sense to me.

706
00:31:14,820 --> 00:31:16,220
It makes me be realistic.

707
00:31:16,220 --> 00:31:17,900
It's just hate, and that's scary.

708
00:31:17,900 --> 00:31:18,740
You know what I'm saying?

709
00:31:18,740 --> 00:31:21,140
Like, I just don't like you.

710
00:31:21,140 --> 00:31:22,380
And that's scary, man.

711
00:31:22,380 --> 00:31:25,100
You can't even name one reason why you dislike me.

712
00:31:26,380 --> 00:31:28,180
Like, man, I'm thinking about doing that,

713
00:31:28,180 --> 00:31:30,820
putting all the people that have a problem with me,

714
00:31:30,820 --> 00:31:33,300
why is the reason you dislike me?

715
00:31:33,300 --> 00:31:34,540
Like, what is it?

716
00:31:34,540 --> 00:31:35,540
You know what I'm saying?

717
00:31:35,540 --> 00:31:37,180
Like, just tell me.

718
00:31:38,180 --> 00:31:39,860
If you can't tell me one thing,

719
00:31:39,860 --> 00:31:42,820
then I'm just assuming you hating then.

720
00:31:42,820 --> 00:31:44,340
Like, you just hating.

721
00:31:44,340 --> 00:31:45,180
Maybe because of what?

722
00:31:45,180 --> 00:31:46,340
Like, the success.

723
00:31:46,340 --> 00:31:47,900
Like, I don't know.

724
00:31:47,900 --> 00:31:50,260
I'm trying, I'm brother trying, you know?

725
00:31:50,260 --> 00:31:53,740
And I think, too, you know, and in closing,

726
00:31:55,460 --> 00:31:57,460
a lot of us can learn from each other.

727
00:31:58,340 --> 00:32:00,980
It's just, what are you willing,

728
00:32:00,980 --> 00:32:03,700
what's the sacrifices you willing to shoot for

729
00:32:03,700 --> 00:32:08,500
or go for or go around to make yourself be better?

730
00:32:08,500 --> 00:32:11,380
Again, we're about healing, we're about self-motivation,

731
00:32:11,380 --> 00:32:13,340
we're about self-preservation.

732
00:32:13,340 --> 00:32:14,180
Only way you can do that,

733
00:32:14,180 --> 00:32:17,540
you gotta stop letting that little stuff bother you.

734
00:32:17,540 --> 00:32:20,220
Don't be the hater and stop worrying about the haters.

735
00:32:20,220 --> 00:32:22,220
Stop worrying about the people that's mad at you.

736
00:32:22,220 --> 00:32:24,580
Don't be the person that's mad at somebody.

737
00:32:24,580 --> 00:32:26,180
Learn to forgive and forget.

738
00:32:26,180 --> 00:32:28,660
Now, with that being said,

739
00:32:28,660 --> 00:32:30,540
Thanksgiving is around the corner.

740
00:32:30,540 --> 00:32:31,660
Thanksgiving giveaway,

741
00:32:31,660 --> 00:32:35,220
we want you all to be a part of it as much as you can.

742
00:32:35,220 --> 00:32:37,940
If you all can help, be a help.

743
00:32:37,940 --> 00:32:40,380
A, Not Just Music Podcast is the website.

744
00:32:40,380 --> 00:32:42,900
Go to our menu tab on the website.

745
00:32:42,900 --> 00:32:44,780
Go down and donate.

746
00:32:44,780 --> 00:32:49,780
Put in your info or go to PayPal, put in your info.

747
00:32:49,860 --> 00:32:51,740
If you already have a PayPal account, good.

748
00:32:51,740 --> 00:32:56,380
If not, just add your info and it will populate to us.

749
00:32:56,380 --> 00:32:59,020
We are looking forward to doing big things with it.

750
00:32:59,020 --> 00:33:03,740
And again, I am Dwarne Moreno from Not Just Music Podcast.

751
00:33:03,740 --> 00:33:05,660
Quincey Murdock in the building as always.

752
00:33:05,660 --> 00:33:29,660
We'll see y'all next time.